Performing caste/class: an autobiograhical note

For somebody who was not exposed to any literature on middle classes before, the readings prescribed for this class were a revelation in many senses. While going through the readings, especially Lietchy’s formulation of middle class as a ‘suitably modern’ group constantly engaged in the process of ‘becoming’ a class in a performative space reminded me of the experience that I underwent looking for a house in a decent locality close to NIAS. I wish to be autobiographical this time sharing my own experience of ‘class’ in a middle class neighbourhood in Bangalore. I also want to draw your attention to how ‘class’ in India is unavoidably filtered through the lenses of caste and religion, and how a class experience cannot be spoken of without qualifying it by caste. This seems to be very evident to me the way our neighbourhoods are segregated (who will get to live where?) even in a metropolitan city like Bangalore.

When I went looking for houses within 2kms radius of NIAS, my aim was to find a middle class locality, a decent residential area away from the common din (maybe you can read it as lower class din). If I deconstruct what I had in mind (when I went on telling people I needed a middle class locality) in the light of the readings for discussion today, I could locate myself in a middle class position (desiring a healthy distance from the lower classes and their noise which I thought Mathikere was so full of) and also get a sense of how my own class position was evaluated (by the people who rented their place to me) when I finalised a house in ITI Layout.

My survey of the neighbourhood of ITI layout, going around asking for houses (many people do not entertain brokers), gave me a sense of the kind of neighbourhood the very first day. A few inquiries and stops told me they preferred Brahmins (the very first question most people asked me was about my caste and my eating habits and then the size of my family). There were many who said that they won’t rent the place to anyone other than Brahmins. I was let in many places to see the house but they had other tests to confirm if I was really a Brahmin (maybe my looks were not that assuring of my Brahmin self) by asking me about my subcaste and gotra. I found a lot of these questions irritating but I had no option to answer them. When they learned I was going to live alone, they wanted to make sure that I believe in and act according to certain middle class morals and values. Some owners said they don’t want to rent the place to a single women because they don’t want to take the ‘risk’ (by that maybe they meant a woman living alone without parents or husband is not to be trusted). That’s when I realized maybe I will not be able get a place on my own because most of them evaluated me as not belonging to ‘Brahmin middle class’ category inspite of my telling them so. I liked the locality very much and wasn’t ready to go seek houses elsewhere. There was a gap between what they meant by ‘Brahmin middle class’ and what I was conveying through my very appearance- ‘Brahmin middle class’. The two did not match. That was when I realized the burden of ‘caste/class expectations’ and how I didn’t completely fulfil them. I wasn’t ‘suitably’ middle class Brahmin girl of 25 years age (in saying that I will be living alone, I somehow did not fit neatly into their image of a middle class Brahmin girl).

To cut the long story short, I made my father negotiate the deal for me because I couldn’t take all the enquiries after sometime. After my parents intervened, the owner was willing to rent the place to me on condition that I don’t bring boys and use the place for any other purpose than residence. My father was made to vouch for my middle class Brahminness. My parents visit me often to just give the sense that I am not some totally unmonitored young woman living in a city all by myself. In my everyday interactions with the people around me, I often get questions like when I’m going to marry (the fact that I speak Kannada makes them ask these questions easily). My parents are also asked the same question sometimes when they visit me. Whenever I bring people to home I get a sense that my neighbours are watching me (till date I’ve not taken any of my male friends home). My neighbours take great pride in how the locality has remained a Brahmin locality since its beginning and how anybody who has come to occupy one of the houses in the neighbourhood has made it big in life but has still remained true to the middle class roots. I’m also expected to be the same. I’m surrounded by all Brahmins who make sure that the next one who comes to occupy the place will  also be a ‘Brahmin’ who doesn’t unsettle their ways of life and beliefs. Outside the walls of my house I have to play or perform to conform to their Brahmin middle class mores, if I want to deviate, I can do it only at the risk of leaving the place.